Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wedding bells

I received a phone call today informing me that yet another friend of mine has drunk the Kool-aid ... um ... I mean ... is getting married.

Never the bridesmaid, never the bride.  Is it wrong that I am secretly glad that I've never been asked to physically take part in a wedding?  I've helped on the sidelines - made the cake (and, for a few, a heck of a lot of cupcakes), gave advice, etc - but never something on a grand scale.  (My luck the dress would truly be awful haha.)

I wonder if men realize how much thought women put into this event, from the time they're a child running around dressed like a princess all the way up to the day of the big event.  It's something instilled in us our whole lives - and we're looked down upon by others when they see no ring on our finger ... "Why are you  not married ... YET?" as if there's something wrong with us, a horrible disease.

Just like with grief, there are steps a woman goes through after a man asks her to marry him:
1. Utter happiness, excitement

2. Self-doubt (Am I going to make a good wife?  Will I make
him happy?)

3. Doubt in him (Is he the  man for me? Is he who I'm supposed
to be with?  Will he make a good husband, a good father?)

4. Planning mode - She's realized she was silly about her doubts
and begins planning the wedding of her dreams, which can be a
stressful situation.

5. Over emotional - Right before the wedding, because of all the
stress she's going through, she's going to become emotional.
It's inevitable (especially if she's got a lot of work left to do
and is having to deal with crazy family members/future in-laws).

Some take this to the level of Bridezilla, but  no all.

6. Once she sees you standing at the front of the aisle, the look on
your face, happiness will overwhelm her, sometimes accompanied
by tears.

Her up-coming nuptials have me thinking, which is odd because 1) I've pretty much given up on the whole Prince-Charming-happily-ever-after thing and 2) it's not like I have a potential mate anywhere, but I still think.

I would definitely be an anti-Bridezilla (yes, it's a secret vice of mine to watch those women behave badly and wonder why those people, especially the future husbands, stick around) - I like to do everything myself, early, and rarely (if at all) ask for anyone's help.

 I may act like I'm different than other women - and in a lot of ways, on a lot of levels I am - but there's a part of me ..........

1 comment:

Mollydee said...

I loved it! I think you are going to find just the right guy. But I have to tell you, what did I think when my best friend at the time spent 200,000 on her wedding and then her and her husband lived in a cramped apartment for years? Yes it was beautiful. But she told me a secret....she does not remember anything accept saying "I do". That was the most important part. So with that knowledge, and knowing we saved money for a house, my husband and I had 8 people at our wedding, not including us, and went to a diner after to eat. My wedding dress was $100.00. And it was in the chapel off of the church. Because it costs more to have it at the big church. So when that big moment happens, you can have a little folder of everything you want at the wedding, but go simple. Just some good advice. :)