Yesterday a man I have idolized since I was really young passed away. I was skimming the news online and, when I saw the article, I just froze. HE was one of the people I thought would NEVER die. And now he, along with several other people I looked up to, are gone.
I'll admit it - I cried. Funny, crying about a man that I never even met. But it was like we knew him, wasn't it? There are only four other celebrities that have died where I shed tears - I've been sad before, but not like this - DeForest Kelly, Mr. Rogers, Robin Williams, and Eddie Guerrero.
I will never forget the first time I saw him. My father was a big Trek fan, and he was watching one of the original episodes in the living room. I came in and he pulled me up in his lap (I was maybe five) and we sat there together watching. I had never seen it before ... and I was enthralled.
When the show was over, I had all kinds of questions. I wanted to know who he was ... and what was wrong with him (the 5 year old brain, huh?). I wanted to know why they called "that one guy" Bones. I wanted to know all about the space ship - and every other question I could think of. My dad laughed, and explained it as best he could. I was hooked and had to watch it every time it was on. (I think my dad was rather proud of the fact that he introduced me to this show - and, later on, the books.)
In all these years, that has not changed. I have seen the original series I can't even tell you how many times and pretty much have the movies memorized. I have read several of the books, and watched the spin-offs as well. Star Trek is like comfort food to me - something I can play and replay, even if I'm not paying full attention to the show (you know, that background noise you put on while you're doing something else) - and it just makes me happy.
I don't know if I'll be able to watch it now, at least for awhile. No matter how much I want to see him, Bones and Kirk together on the screen, the idea of it just makes me feel very sad.
My deepest sympathies go out to his family - and my prayers are with them.
If he ever wondered how much he was loved, he knows now. I firmly believe he is standing up in Heaven, watching us, with a smile on his face - and that his heart is full - especially after seeing all the things that were said about him on social media yesterday. It gave me goosebumps.
Dif-Tot heh smusma
"Of my friend, I can say only this:
Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels,
his was the most ... human."
~Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan